It was September 11, 2008 – the day of my physical and the day after my 43rd birthday.

I had not been feeling like myself for a couple weeks and had awoken to a severe chest pain a few days earlier. A close friend who happened to be a nurse suggested maybe it was gallstones. My physician concurred and we went through the normal exam, had some blood work, and scheduled an ultrasound for the following week.

The next day, the blood work results came back with some levels that were a bit off. They asked if I could come in that afternoon for an ultrasound. I went in, still thinking it was gallstones. This was simply procedure to confirm that diagnosis.

After 45 minutes passed, I started getting concerned. Then the radiologist, who was a close personal friend, walked in totally speechless. He wanted to do a CAT scan to find out what was really going on.

What he found was Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer that had metastasized to my liver.

Ten years earlier, I had lost my first husband Kevin. We had been married 9 years and I had known him my entire adult life. We had a wonderful, full life in California, with 2 boys, Jimmy and Matt. When he died, I could not even begin to think how I would survive without him. I was a shell of myself.

Grieving is a long process. My friends and family tried to help. I read books on widowhood. I couldn’t find a “why” in any of these things. It was then that I turned my trust over to God.

I was able to feel joy again. I recognized the blessings I still had. I grew confident and empowered. The Holy Spirit was within me. I realized I would never “get over it” – but I would get through it.

One year after Kevin’s passing, God blessed me again.

I met Jason. He was visiting California for a wedding. His high school friend was marrying my high school friend. From the night I met him – and discovered we shared the same birthday! – I knew he was “the one.” We dated for a year and became engaged.

We moved to Ames, Iowa and began a new chapter together. Seven years later, I found myself enjoying wonderful, lasting friendships, involved in local groups and leading an active life in a college town. Jimmy and Matt thrived with Jason, who was an awesome dad.

Then came my diagnosis.

Our second chance, our happy family, was turned upside down. I knew I was in for another fight for my life. This time, however, I am different. All that grieving I did 10 years earlier began to resonate with me. What took 10 months to realize back then took only 10 days this time: Trust God.

I have been doing that ever since the diagnosis. I have the most amazing support circle around the country – family, friends, people I haven’t even met are praying for me. They have formed “Barb’s Army” for my healing. I feel at peace that I will overcome this cancer just as I overcame my grief. Prayer is powerful.

My 3 favorite concepts, the ones that brought me to Ames, will carry me through this next journey – faith, hope and love.

- Barb Boylan Schager